Diary

My work is generally not revolving round the days, on Sundays also I work and generally there is not a burden of like rest day is gone and there is going to be workload. But yes there are some of those thoughts for tomorrow.  The work for tomorrow is, now when I write, of is just regular and an opportunity to get more benifits.  Learn more and be high in energy level.  Now looking at the fears that were coming,  Those were like have to handle multiple works, other thought was already have taken money and then there were some bugs coming.  Need to solve them.  Also will have to wake up a little early, As tomorrow the big child will be going to school again after his winter holidays.  But man, after some writing, that I did just now, things become more clear and the unknown fears are gone. 

 Its around 11:30 in the night, feeling not so sleepy, with small kid and work also, its became a general pattern. If I just see yesterday, the last thing was to make the child sleep,  also the major work was done by wifey and I was just sitting to give company.  Then I came to the other room to sleep. And I was till then also watching a series and then slept only after concluding that at around 1 pm, then  at morning today it was around 8  when I woke up.  Good thing was, without any anger or comments that usually come out from me , due to waking up. I got up and did the daily activities,  making the older kiddo ready (actually wife does major part) but kid loves to bath with me so I made him do that and then dropped him. Then did some messages to client , got some tasks , did them , but in some time, the work was over as the new requirements were not there and I had asked to set a meet, which didn't happened.  So I played some games, then went i...

Writing at morning.  Festivals are going on. Right now all are getting prepared, doing daily things for the preparation,  talking about me........ I am sitting..... Now will bath in some time, but sitting with bad feelings, saw heart emojies in wife's phone for guys.... Not me..... And she doesn't even say or talk about it, the thing is kids also.... Need not to extend this headache in them.... So whatever I might think of myself, I am pretty much in bad phase and surrendered and all is up to God, and let's pray and leave the thing. Well it sticks again and again, but need to get out of it..... Meditating shall help and so will prayers. Don't need to do anything..... When I say anything to her, shebehaves like I am saying something wrong..... Man..... Peoples....... Need to practice solo thing along with living together........ As all are happy and I feel she is happy not for me, truly saying..... Well I care about them all, and shall move on....... God is with us all ,...

From kid to his maternal house. Looking rude and with kid it seems more long as lots of safety considerations.  But it was great as with him all seems well.  Just now client has promised more bonus in project completion.  That I shouldn't think more as bonuses are often ignored by clients.  There was one more big bonus due from previous org but I don't think it will be given also.  It was a commitment by client but let's leave it.  Now kid is busy with others.  I can do some reading As well as have a look at the requirements given by the client and study them. 

Will going to sleep now. Just attended some work then both the kids and family slept and now I will sleep too. Mins is not always the good words as I write.  Well, is full of trash and will sometimes the hallucinations are caused because of the array of unwanted thoughts, that are sometimes lust or every time list of want or anger etc.  The program helps in every walk  And the prayers are answered  I am truly blessed and safe.  Although was thinking about the live.  It's about doing work good work Keeping up the soul's pace by doing the good things For me these good things would be starting away from lust and pointless scrolling etc is also a part of this That leads to problems and the thought process.  Doing daily exercise is a miracle always around me that I many times don't consider. And then things become fatigue full and unhealthy, be it be physical, mental or spiritual.  And talking more about activities.  Reading would be there.........

This time for 2nd vehicle.  One thing is there what I think can be managed is low of unnecessary spends or low priority needs.  Let month did some of huge bloopers on that. Need to manage